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Can Beer Money Save a Marriage?

 

Day #1:           Have started long-awaited European vacation in Munich, Germany. Water questionable. Had one German beer. Nasty, kerosene-like stuff.

Day #2:           Toured historic city. Got very thirsty walking. Prices for bottled water are outrageous. Suffered through one small pint of beer. Bitter brew.

Day #3:           Traveled to Innsbruck by train. Great alpine scenery. Walked to big-ass castle. Up hill both ways. Had first Austrian beer; worse than the German’s.

Day #4:           Made it to Vienna. Two nights here. Took carriage ride. Saw where Mozart lived. Ran into local festival. Drank beer. Man, these guys can party!

Day #6:           Drank suds all the way to Venice. Streets all flooded, but some guys with great shoes and small boats took us to the bar.

Day #7:           Arrived in Florence, but the wife has quit kissing me because I have “beer breath.” This Michael Angelico guy could really paint. Think he must have invented beer.

Day #9:           Beer is great! Landed in Genoa. Jesus Christ what a dump! No wonder Columbus left.

Day #10:         Reached Lakes region of northern Italy, in town of Lugano. Good water makes great beer. Wife not talking to me. Oh well. Have beer.

Day #12:         Lost a day yesterday. Somehow reached Switzerland. Woke up in new room. No wife, but her suitcase was there, so she must be around.

Day #13:         Pawned suitcase for beer money and went to a pub. Great people and outstanding beer! May have got married again last night. Don’t think it will go over well with the Mrs.

Day #14:         Airline ticket on the bed when I finally made it back to the room. No sign of wife. My new friends and I drank to her departure.

Day #15:         Sold airline ticket to Swiss bartender who wanted to visit the States. Sublet his apartment. Stop by and I’ll let you buy me a beer!

 

T.D. Griffith is a member of the Society of American Travel Writers.

He has written or co-authored 59 books for major publishers and his travel writing has appeared in newspapers and magazines from New York to New Zealand. He remains happily married.

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